At We Can Code IT, I have mentored hundreds of young professionals. I’m often asked for advice. I think, how am I to give 25 years of information to someone in 2 minutes or less? After trying to cram way too much in, I’ve finally boiled it down to a simple starting point.

Now, trust me, there’s much more to mentorship than giving advice on impression management. I believe all roads lead to Rome though, and this happens to be a starting point that will get you there quickly. By eliminating “clutter” and insecurity from your communications, you’ll start gaining respect from others and more importantly, confidence in yourself.

Stop wavering.

That’s it. Simple, but not easy.

What do I mean by “Stop wavering?” Let me give you a few examples.

Instead of
“Like, what I mean is like, do you want to go out?”
Try
“Do you want to go out?”

Simple! Say out loud a few times. Write it to a friend. How does it feel? Own your wants, don’t be ashamed.

Instead of
“I wanted to just send some tips…”
Try
“Here are some tips.”

Again, say it aloud. Do you hear the difference? Do you feel uncomfortable being so direct? I recommend trying it on and wearing it out a few times before making a final judgement.

Instead of
“It’s overwhelming, right?”
Try
“I feel overwhelmed.”

Asking someone else to bless your perspective, to give you permission to feel a certain way, is giving away your power and authority. Own your own feelings. They are valid. Your opinion is too.

By noticing the way you communicate and putting the strategies above into action, my hope for you is that you’ll gain more confidence and demand the respect you deserve.

What do you think? Has this advice worked for you? Do you have other examples of giving away power through communication? What about commanding respect? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.